What Should've Been
by newyork13
Summary: [[Sequel to "What Could've Been"]] He may be free but he's frail. He lost both girls that he loved at the hands of the same brother. When one girl walks back into his life, happy and married can he understand, will he understand? A gentle hand takes his and helps him up.
1. Chapter 1

Boxes are piled against walls containing treasured items and cloths, cutlery and books. The for sale sign stands in the early morning spring sun. A baby cries waking her parents and the new day starts.

* * *

Jamie crawls out of his bed; it's not the same living under his Dad's roof again. Because he doesn't know who his Dad is anymore. He doesn't know who he is anymore. The trip downstairs reminds him of Christmas morning sliding down the banister with Joe and Danny, while Erin threatens that they'll be in big trouble. He gets downstairs its dark it's not Christmas. It's just another normal day, but to him it's not it is another day that Eleanor is dead and Sydney is married with a young daughter living in Chicago. He wanted out of that captivity so badly, even after Joe told him Syd was married, he expected a life with Ella from the moment those words slipped past Joe's lips, but no. When Sam Tucker fired his gun at Sam, Ella flung herself in front of Joe, saving him. He lost her minutes later, minutes later he lost his reason to live.

"Jamie, you up kid?" Franks tired voice asks.

"Yeah" Jamie replies.

"How are you this morning, better than yesterday?"

Jamie shrugs following Frank to the kitchen, "I have my good days and my bad days as Danny calls them. Yesterday, today not so good."

Frank smiled an assuring smile as he poured himself coffee. When Jamie had, had his first proper Psychological Evaluation, the Psychologist found that Jamie did have the suspected PTSD and that he was suffering from memory loss, specifically his childhood. The time when you are formed into the person that you are is during childhood. Jamie lost his identity during captivity; he'd lost his childhood memories.

"Well hopefully tomorrow is a good day, maybe even today, I heard on the grapevine you are spending the day with Nicky" Frank smiled.

"Nicky and Grandpa" Jamie corrected as he took the milk from the fridge and cereal from the pantry.

"Well I think you're going to have a good day Jamie" Henry yawned as he entered the room and sat down at the table with Frank and Jamie.

"See even Pop agrees" Frank smiled, remembering what Jamie's psychologist had said; they needed to be positive if Jamie was going to even be able to attempt to feel positive.

* * *

"She's barley two months old Kate!" Joe argued.

Kate spun on her heel, "JOE I KNOW…but I need to work. I can't be here, if I'd carried her full term, if you hadn't be kidna-" she stopped mid-sentence realising what she had said.

"Fine go Kate, just go! I'll stay home again, because I don't have a partner to go to work with, because Danny won't relinquish Willa as his partner and because he isn't talking to me. Kate do you even know what that feels like to not have your brother talk to you!"

"I DO JOE, BECAUSE I HAVE NO BROTHERS AND DANNY BECAME MY BROTHER AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE ISN'T TALKING TO ME EITHER, EVEN AT WORK LINDA IGNORES ME!" as Kate yelled Charlotte started crying and Kate took her bag and keys and left the house leaving Joe again with a crying Charlotte and no family support because they all took Jamie's side.

* * *

_**Back again. They're back, I'm back. This was playing on my mind, needed to be written, so I wrote it. This time I know what needs to be written, quiet looking forward to writing it. I hope you enjoy because, I'm really delving here into their lives after Jamie came back into it and how that impacts who each character really is and who they thought they were.**_

_**K. x**_


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Lottie it's going to be okay" Joe gently picked Lottie up out of her crib and held her against his chest trying to calm her, "Sweetie I'm sorry about the argument Mommy and I had. It's been a tough few weeks for both of us and I'm sorry you had to come into this mess, but we're going to sort this out and move to DC and start again. I'm going to make this work, we're going to make this work" the crying stopped and Lottie had fallen back to sleep. Joe sighed in relief as he laid Lottie back down in her crib and headed back downstairs. Joe slumped down on the couch hoping to get some sleep before Lottie woke again, only to be woken by the doorbell ringing. Joe yawned heavily and got up from the couch and headed to the front door to send whoever was there away.

"Are they in there?" a worried female voice asked.

"How would I know Syd, I don't have x-ray vision" Great Nolan and Sydney just what he needed.

Joe put on a brave face and opened the door.

"Joe, oh my God, Joe!" Sydney sounded relieved and lunged forward and hugged him.

He hugged her back, "What, what are you and Nolan doing here?"

Nolan adjusted how he was holding AJ, "Syd was worried, and I was worried. Extremely worried, we haven't heard from you or Kate for two months, we've tried calling your family no one's answered. We had to come see if you were all okay."

"We've been better" Joe couldn't lie to Sydney and Nolan, he could never lie to them, "Syd we, we found Jamie."

Sydney's hazel eyes opened wide and she whispered trying to hold back her tears, "What?"

* * *

Erin shuffled the papers on her desk again and again. She looked at the pictures of her family on her desk. Jamie had been back for two months yet she had no new pictures or no new memories. Her Dad was still refusing to have family dinners, till he was sure Jamie could handle the situation. Jamie was so fragile and lost and she hated seeing her baby brother like that. She did relish in the days when he let someone else in, let them back in, but that still made her sad because he still hadn't let her in. He'd only let her Dad, Grandpa, Danny and Nicky back in, but Erin still saw that as an accomplishment. There was a knock at her office door.

"Come, come in" Erin gulped.

The door opened and Danny slid into the room, coffee in one hand and red velvet cupcakes in the other.

"Hey Sis" Danny smiled sitting down across from her.

"Hey Dan, how are you?"

Danny smiled, "I'm okay. Jamie's okay, so I'm okay."

"Have you spoken to Joe yet?"

Danny shook his head, "Jamie needs me Erin and if Jamie needs me, I need to be with him."

"I ran into Kate yesterday, she's gone back to work, they're moving to DC, Joe's a stay at home Dad – because I take it you know he won't go back to work because you're partnered with Willa?"

"Well he's part of the reason Jamie's a mess, Eleanor took the bullet to save Joe. Eleanor died, Syd got married. He wanted one of them to be with him when he came out of captivity. He has no one he trusts, but he trusts me, he's never trusted me."

Erin took a deep breath, "Daniel Reagan are you going to tell me you're rejecting the fact that Joe might need you right now, because Jamie's never needed your support because he always went to Joe while we were growing up?"

"Yes."

"Well you can leave the cupcakes and the coffee, but I'm on Joe's side now, because no one seems to be."

Danny stood up leaving the food and left without another word. Erin shuffled the papers on her desk again. In a few minutes she'd lost her brothers and most likely her daughter and the two most important men in her life, just because she now knew which of her brothers needed her the most right now.

* * *

_**If you really hate me for tearing the Reagan's apart feel free to comment on that. **_

_**K.x**_


End file.
